


A Forgotten Pas De Deux

by Sacredillusionist



Category: Princess Tutu
Genre: Aged Up, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Fluff, I hurt myself writing this, Memory Loss, Slow Burn, So much angst, Tears will be shed, kinda swan-lake meets tsubasa?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 19:52:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12778284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sacredillusionist/pseuds/Sacredillusionist
Summary: Fakir makes a deal with Drosselmeyer after constantly failing to give Ahiru a human body again. But there are a few conditions:First All four must participateSecond Ahiru’s memories will be taken, plucked free like loose feathers and scattered.Third he will be wiped from her memories, if he tells her this, she will be taken away entirely.Fourth without her memories she will be in pain but each feather returned will shatter the story.But if he can prove his unconditional and unwavering love, she will remain human forever.Deal?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I like angst. Suffer with me.

The first year or two was peaceful. With Rue and Mytho gone the only person left to mean anything to him was simply a Duck. His own princess in his mind, he wanted to write her back. More than anything he wanted to see her again, to dance a pas de duex without so much sorrow. Yet after too many futile attempts to write Ahiru back into a girl he could tell she was losing hope in him. Each day he could see less and less of her in the duck's watery eyes. The human part of her slipping away. He promised to stay by her side but he couldn’t help but feel they this was this failing her too. Three years had passed, he was bordering on adulthood. He should be taking interest in life, in love, in existing as more than just a writer. Sitting by the lake, he watched Ahiru paddle up to him, tilting her head to the side innocently, he smiled at her, imagining her human form tilting just like that.  
“I feel as if I’m failing you.” He admitted to her, he never hesitated to tell her his feelings. she quacked loudly, her wings flapping as she pulled herself from water and flopped on the deck next to him. Sitting up she berated him with wails and quacks, he knew what she was saying even if he couldn't understand it.

 _‘How could you think that? You are with me every day.’_ He offered his arms out as the duck crawled into his arms and rested on him. She had grown, her feathers were sleeker and more refined Unlike the puffy yellow chick she used to be.  
“I can’t even do anything as simple as write you a story so you can become human again.” He was upset, yet he could feel the warmth and love radiating out of her as she nuzzled the top of her head into the crook of his neck affectionately.  
‘ _I am fine as this is’_ he could hear her soft voice. What was the point in having this ability if he could not use it the way he wanted too? Ahiru could be content to live as a duck but he didn’t have to accept it.  
He picked her up and stood up, Ahiru resting happily in his arms as he brought her back into the house. Perhaps he needed to stop focusing on how to continue their story and write a new one. After all, the prince had come from another story and become someone else in theirs.  
Yet he wasn’t sure if he had honed his craft enough. Setting Ahiru in his lap he sat at the desk, she comfortably napped on him. Smiling he patted the top of her head.  
“Perhaps I can be of assistance.” A mocking voice chuckled in his head, he knew it. It haunted his dreams. Drosselmeyer. Closing his eyes he could see him in the blackness.  
“What do you want? Your ending failed, so leave.” He hissed at him, arms outstretched to clutch Ahiru, but all he felt was air. She was gone and he felt his heart stop.  
“Looking for this?” He caught his attention as a shaky red form of the girl he loved materialized next to him. Her tiny body was outstretched her eyes closed wild stands of her braid floating aimlessly.  
“Ahiru!” He yelled at her, she didn’t move or respond.  
“It was my story that made her into the girl and I cannot write her anymore, but you can. I can give you a clue on how to bring her into your own story, call it… familial generosity.” He snapped his fingers and the form shifted, the skirts of a dress billowed out, her hair changing as she seemed to glow with a soft light, her form graceful as she became princess tutu. “You must think outside the box…” he taunted him as Ahiru stood up straight, her movements were shaky and controlled like a puppet.  
“What are you doing to her.” He hissed as Drosselmeyer laughed.  
“You are only seeing a reflection of a puppet, what I created her to be. You cannot find the words to make her human because before me she did not exist as a human. Perhaps it is time to make her in your own image… bring her from her story into one of your own design. But with all wishes there is a price to pay. The duckling chose this too, her price was her silence. Her feelings would be muted. So my dear boy, what is your price?” He didn’t respond as Drosselmeyer toyed with her, spinning her in a constant pirouette.  
“What do you mean?” This made no sense. He wanted to stop him though, to make him release Ahiru. Yet it was like his feet wouldn’t move.  
“If you can get your prince and princess to agree, I will grant you access into another world, a story you are free to alter, however there will be conditions. The first condition-“ he made her stop and move into a poised stance as she gracefully pulled one arm out and held up a single finger. “All four of you must participate as characters.” Fakir paused, eyes narrowed suspiciously. Yet he let him continue. “Second, the little ducks memories will be taken from her, plucked free like the feathers she will lose and scattered about.” He watched in horror as she touched her hands to her chest, a small white feather pulled free, glowing with an ethereal white light as it hovered in her hands. “That is her price. Your price however if you agree, her memories of you will be scrubbed clean. Star-crossed lovers doomed to be apart, of not by physical form but then by other means.” He laughed at him mocking him as the feather floated towards him. He could do that, let her exist without him, if that was what he needed to do to see her again.  
“Third rule” He warned him, Ahiru flopped her leg pointed up like a marionette who had fallen. Her movements jerked up to hold three fingers. “You cannot tell her. If you tell her you have been wiped away or try to write her into remembering you, not only will she be taken away as a human, but taken entirely. She will disappear.” He laughed as horror crossed Fakirs face. “Four-“  
“What more could you want!” He cried as he watched her depthless eyes shift with her body. Watching her twist lifelessly, he hated it.  
“Well boy if you let me finish. Fouth and finally: her memories will be tied to this new world. Mytho, Rue, And Ahiru will not remember their story. You will, it is your fate to suffer for your writing. Now I know you’re thinking _‘I will never return the feathers then’_ but where is the fun in that?” He chuckled, Fakir growled, he wasn’t far off since he had been thinking that. Tutu sat up straight, her hands poised at her waist. “She will be in pain without her feathers and with each feather returned the world will shatter.” He watched as she stepped towards him, dainty and graceful as she touched the feather he held of hers. “Since we are blood consider this a gift from me.” He watched as her feather seemed to glow brighter, turning into the pen he would use to write. “He memories of you are in this pen, the final piece and ultimately your destruction, But if you can prove your love to her is unconditional and never wavering she will stay a human, with these final memories.” He promised, her small hand closed around his hand holding the pen.  
Fakir looked down at her, he had to convince Mytho and Rue to help, but he would do it? There was no hesitation, for her he would. “Do we have a deal?” He smirked, Fakir looked at him.

“Yes. We have a deal.”


	2. Chapter 2

Returning to his body he picked his head up to see Ahiru napping, cuddled against him happily. He smiled and kissed the top of her head. To see her smile, he would do anything for that. The pen Drosselmeyer had given him sat gleaming on his desk. He knew what to do but how could he convince Siegfried and Rue both to put aside their happy ending?

The next day before Ahiru had time to protest he took her to the staircase that lead to their story. It had been left open, perhaps because of both the prince and princesses attachment to this world. It was how they met after all. Looking down at the duck her carried he finally spoke.  
“Ahiru, I haven’t mentioned why we’re going yet and I’m surprised you’re so docile.” He snickered as large blue eyes looked up at him. His heart dropped to his stomach almost instantly. He could see it, the fog in her eyes that said she was losing more and more of that humanity she gained from being Tutu. She was more and more just a Duck. “Come on, yell at me or do something. We’re going to see the prince.” He held the duck up to be eye level.  
She squirmed and quacked loudly, throwing her legs out in protest before glaring at him. Some depth returning to her eyes when she looked directly at him. “Stay with me and pay close attention, idiot. Don’t space out.” He reprimanded her as she huffed and let out a reluctant quack.   
‘ _Okay, okay!_ ’ Is what she seemed to be saying. Walking up the staircase he was surprised as it dropped them off in the castle foyer. Holding Ahiru in his arms again she began quacking incessantly. Fakir’s eye twitched as he looked down at her.   
“Stop being obnoxious-“ he growled at her as she hopped from his arms and took off, waddling down the hall. “Are you even listening to me?” He followed after her.  
“You two are as lively as ever.” He heard her before he saw her. Rue bent down as the duck launched herself into the princesses arms. He couldn’t help but smile at the scene. This is what was best for Ahiru, a reminder.   
“It’s good to see you, I came to talk with both you and Myth-Siegfried.” He explained as she stood up straight holding Ahiru. Her hair had grown since the last time her saw her, pinned up gracefully in plaits and curls.   
“I do the same thing Fakir. I don’t think he minds the nickname, but follow me I’ll fetch him and we can meet in the drawing room.” She didn’t ask questions, Fakir reached a hand out to stop her from taking Ahiru with her, yet stopped when he could see how happily content she was to see Rue again.

They were dropped off in the drawing room as Rue went to get the prince. Ahiru bounced on the table, practically vibrating with excitement. A string of quacks let loose as she looked over at him. ‘ _I’m so excited to see the prince? Do you think he will remember me?_ ’ He could hear her words, he knew her heart after all.  
“Don't be stupid, of course he will.” He rolled his eyes sitting down in a chair. Ahiru paddled to him and plopped down into his lap, he moved his crossed arms to wrap around her as she nestled closely to him.   
Not long after Rue returned with the prince. Fakir grinned brightly at him, he returned with a soft smile, brown eyes lighting up.   
“It’s good to see you again Fakir.” He responded, Ahiru quacked loudly. “And you too Princess Tutu.” He nodded at her as Rue moved to stand next to him, her arm laced into his affectionately.  
“I’m afraid it’s not a pleasurable visit.” He told them then, about his inability to write Ahiru into a girl again, how Drosselmeyer's ghost approached him with a deal to relinquish his hold on Ahiru’s character. The new story, the lack of memories and finding each feather. Ahiru interrupted him pecking at him in annoyance. He stopped to look down at her as she berated him with quacks.  
‘ _I can’t forget you! I would rather be a duck then never know how I felt about you._ ’ She glared at him as he patted her feathered head.   
“I made a promise to stay by your side no matter what, Drosselmeyer asked for unwavering loyalty and if there is one thing I can provide it’s that. So we collect your memories even if you don’t remember me as long as I keep my promise you’ll get them back.” He reminded her as she looked up at him with wide blue eyes.   
“There has to be a twist.” Rue interjected their moment as both Ahiru and Fakir looked from each other to her.  
“We’ve beat him once, and with each feather everyone will remember things. If it’s the four of us we can do it.” Fakir looked at both of them.   
“I will do it.” Rue nearly jumped up in agreement. Looking at Ahiru, the girl who had been her enemy but had saved her and her prince. He gave her a smile and a nod as Ahiru quacked tearfully and jumped up on the table wings outstretched to hug her.   
“Princess Tutu saved my heart. Even at the cost of her own life. It would be disrespectful to me to let her suffer as a duck.” Siegfried agreed, Fakir nodded once. A small smile. Ahiru trotted back over to him, rubbed her head on his face. ‘ _I love you Fakir, even if something terrible happens_.’ Her quacks seemed to say as he leaned down to reach into his bag and pull free the pen Drosselmeyer had given him.   
All four of them exchanged looks. Yet he could hear laughter in his head, around them in the room. The room quaking breaking apart as Fakir grabbed onto duck to protect her. His hands moved on their own, grabbing the pen as he began scribbling on the desk, no paper necessary. Drosselmeyer was controlling him. Writing the rules of their deal out, the setting. All of it poured out of him with little control. His other hand held on to duck tightly. His chest hurt as he looked up to see the prince and princess drop to the floor unconscious. His eyes blurred as he looked down at Ahiru who was asleep. It was his turn and he knew it. Letting his eyes close he fell into blackness.

The next time he awoke he had no idea where he was. Green eyes opened slowly He was laying on a desk, clutching the pen in his hand. His free hand that had been holding Ahiru was empty. Sitting upright he panicked as he looked around? Where was he? Books littered the walls, multiple people sat around him. Their clothes weird and uncommon. Standing up he realized what happened, he was in a library? He needed to find Ahiru. Jumping up he practically tripped running out of the room. Where was he? This was Drosselmeyer’s story? How was he supposed to look for Ahiru in this new world when he didn’t even know what was going on to begin with. Pausing he dug into the bag he apparently had been carrying, and found strange sheets of parchment. Thin, white, lined with holes. It was so strange. Ahiru’s feather pen was in his bag. Carefully he held the paper up against the wall. Writing about Ahiru.

_The small girl leaned against the barre her, stretching her long legs. The room was silent, all of the other ballet dancers had returned back to their studios or homes, but the girl liked peace and quiet. It gave her time to think._

Fakir stopped writing, the words flowing out of the pen. He shoved the paper back in the strange bag turning to grab someone. “Ballet room, where is it?” Perhaps he was too snappy. The frightened person nervously gave him directions as he took off into a sprint across the school grounds. Climbing the stairs he could hear the music floating down the halls. His breathing ragged as he paused at the door. Ahiru was there, completely human. Her hair was pulled up into a dancers bun as she moved away from the barre. Without thinking he opened the door.   
“Ahiru!” He called out to her between gasps of breathing. Watery blue eyes looked at him with surprise, for just a minute he almost lost it. Her freckled cheeks burned pink from embarrassment.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stay late, please don’t kick me out mister.” Fakir’s blood ran cold, there was no recognition in her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

“You’re a T.A. Right? I’ve seen you before.” She continued speaking, breaking the silence. T.A.? What on earth was that? ‘I’m a teachers assistant. I assist our literature professor… the thoughts came to him as if they were natural. His eyebrows knitted into a frown.   
“It must be part of the story…” he breathed under his breath.   
“Did you say something.” She stepped towards him a cautious expression in her blue eyes. She had aged like he had. Not much taller, but her face had thinned out the baby fat, her eyes were still wide and filled with innocent, but now he could see a small amount of curves on her tiny frame.   
“No, sorry. I wasn’t trying to startle you.” He needed to make up an excuse. “I saw your dancing it was beautiful I couldn’t resist saying something.” He added, trying to revert back into his cool, restrained nature. Crossing his arms against his cheeks he narrowed his eyes at her. Her pink cheeks turned brighter as she placed her hands on her face a small squeal of excitement escaping. She was still her idiot self at least.   
“I’m so happy! It’s so hard to dance because of my condition so I can’t audition for the ballets we do, so it’s very special for me to hear that.” She gave him such a bright smile he thought he would go blind.   
“Condition?” His voice cracked. ‘ _Keep it cool._ ’ He let out a small snort and leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.   
“Yes, the cartilage in my chest will split and crack when I’m put under strenuous circumstances. It makes it impossible to breathe and my ballet shakey.” Her childlike voice explained touching her chest. Fakir’s eyes narrowed, it had to be from the feathers. How was he supposed to find them anyways?   
“That sounds very painful.” He commented dryly.   
“Well, I should leave anyways- my boyfriend is here.” She blushed again as Fakir blinked, her what? Who? Just what situation did Drosselmeyer put him in? Watching her hop to her bag and begin taking off her pointe shoes he turned back to see Mytho approaching. His white hair was long just brushing his collarbone and he wore weird clothing. A light blue cardigan that brought out the gold in his eyes and a button up white shirt. Ahiru picked up her bag and bounced towards him. What about Rue? Where was she?   
“Hello Fakir.” He greeted him kindly. “Are you planning to go to the game?” He asked him smiling.   
“Game?” He paused, what was going on?   
“Yes football game? I know Rue isn’t very fond of football, but it could be worth it. We haven’t been able to simply hang out since we both started dating.” Fakir practically choked. Dating? How was he to remain loyal to Ahiru if he was dating? And who was he dating? Rue? Was this some cosmic joke?  
“Whatever, sure. He agreed. It would give him an opportunity to look for a feather. Grabbing Ahiru’s hand as she paddled towards him she beamed up so happily at him. It was like watching them dance all over again.   
Something shook the bag he carried startling him as he watched them leave. Dropping it he looked suspiciously at it as it continued to humm and shake.   
“What the hell?” He stepped towards it his heart racing as he flipped open the bag. There was a small blue light at the bottom. Shaking the bag. Slowly he pulled it out as an image of Rue popped up. He wasn’t sure what to do. Holding it until it stopped buzzing and went black. Shoving it back in the bag he tried to recall and memories he might have of this place, letting his feet carry him as he walked back to what should have been his dorm. As he walked the machine began buzzing again making him jump.   
Sliding the key into the lock he nodded as it clicked open, this was his room. He set the bag down and began to inspect everything. A journal was on his desk. He needed to become familiar with himself. Or who the story version of him was.

Fakir spent the week familiarizing himself with this world. The clothes he owned and the schedule of classes he had. His favorite thing to wear was the black denim pants and green button up shirt. He learned that he was a literature major in this college. Mytho was still his best friend and attending the school with a scholarship in baseball. Rue had been his girlfriend for months, a ballet dancer like Ahiru. He knew he was going to have to end that. Find a way to get closer to Ahiru as well as find her feathers. It was going to be a mess.

But he kept up appearances. Choosing to sit next to Ahiru in their English class he played it cool. Especially since she was almost always late and never understood anything. It became incredibly easy to help her and speak to her. “If you want I can tutor you?” He offered, her face beamed in hope.   
“Ya think? That’d be amazing.” She clapped her hands together softly. “We can meet in the library at 6 so I can dance.” She offered as Fakir nodded. When it came time for the football game on Saturday he wasn’t sure what he expected. A absolutely terrifying Rue wasn’t it.   
He waited with Mytho, who he found out was his roommate the first night. While they waited for Ahiru and Rue to show up.   
Rue practically ran at him, murder vibrating from her as she stomped closer, arm raised as she poked him in the chest.  
“You better have an excellent reason for not answering my calls and texts.” She looked at him darkly, red eyes narrowed at him as he looked startled, he needed to end this soon.   
“What?” He responded in kind to anger.   
“You’re lucky I don’t break up with you over this.” This was his chance. To start on the path of writing things.  
“I want to break up anyways.” He shrugged as if it was nothing. Rue looked horrified. “It wasn’t supposed to happen, hell I don’t even know how it happened, in fact we both have better lives apart, trust me.” Tears were welling up in her eyes as Mytho cleared his throat awkwardly.  
“Well there is Ahiru.” He excused himself as he saw her tiny red head bobbing through the crowd. He stepped to go to her but Rue grabbed him.   
“You cannot be serious. I won’t let this happen.” She blinked her tears back with determination.   
“It has to happen Rue, you’ll thank me later.” He assured her, she recoiled in disgust.   
“I won’t let this happen.” She responsed finally dropping his arm as she turned away, he knew she was wiping her tears as Ahiru gave her a concerned look as she and Mytho stepped closer.   
Drosselmeyer asked for unwavering loyalty, and threw him what was no doubt his first speed bump. Looking down he paused as a bright yellow light seemed to be pressing through the threads of his bag. Reaching into the bag he carried on his shoulder he found the pen was glowing a bright yellow as he pulled it out. Was a feather near by? He stepped closer as he noticed a small similar yellow light emitting from a clip in Rues hair that pinned her black hair. It was metallic black crow feathers that seemed to clasp the hair and point into the ponytail. Beautifully designed with each feather looking so realistic as they followed the flow of her hair.

Great the girl who had the first feather was the one he just harshly dumped.


	4. Chapter 4

Emerald green eyes narrowed as Mytho sat down in the seat next to him, arms crossed his huffed, somewhat hoping he would have ditched him to help the now overly emotional Rue. _‘It doesn’t matter if she’s sad now, once she gets her memories back she will get over it quickly.’_ He told himself, his expression bitter. The game began distracting his friends as he tried to Wrack his brain. Holding his bag in his lap he slid it open to peek at the pen as it illuminated the entire bag with a warm yellow glow making him slap the cover back on. How stupid was he? To open it right here? God damnit this situation wasn’t ideal but he needed that pendant. He also realized that he needed parchment, something to write on with the feather pen. Waiting till he felt Mytho was distracted enough he peeled over the cover flap of the bag and dug around for anything he could use. Fakir found a strange notebook, it wasn’t bound by leather no, it was bound by spiral metal that made it easier to fold open. He clutched it tightly as he felt Mytho cough to draw his attention. Closing the bag immediately he did his best to look Fakir’s trademark annoyed expression as Mytho nuged him. “Do you want to talk about that display of Fakir’s infamous merciless lack of tact.” He glanced over at him golden eyes full of concern. “What caused it?”  
“I made a promise, and I have to keep it.” He shrugged simply. Ahiru and Rue sat next to each other on the metal row in front of them. Ahiru clearly trying to comfort the Rue who slapped her hand away and kept her head up. Hands clasped he rested his chin on them. He thought about how he would have to get the feather in a large group where she wouldn’t notice.

The game was incredibly dull. Sports had never been something he cared about too much, and this version of football was... not football? Keeping his hand in his bag he desperately clutched the feather pen as if it would disappear the longer he waited. Fakir tried to think of how to do this. Lost in thought he had barely noticed when Rue excused herself and stood up. Seizing his opportunity he jumped up and followed after her. They both haphazardly clamoured down the weak metal stairs, pushing through the crowd he reached out his fingers barely brushing the clasp as they neared the bottom of the steps. He felt someone elbow him as his eyes widened in shock, unable to stop himself from falling. Crashing forward directly into Rue’s back, they tumbled downwards as he landed on top of her.

Whincing at the pain, he could already hear the commotion they caused. He had one chance now, while everyone was still surprise. Pushing himself up he grasped the clasp and unclipped it, shoving it in his pocket as all of her hair spilled out. Shoving him off of her she stood up and practically growled at him. Holding the clip in his pocket he felt a huge weight of relief lift off his chest as he offered his hand. Slapping him away and pushed herself up.  
“I’m still mad at you, watch where you walk next time.” She turned and huffed away. Shifting his hold on the pendant in his pocket, he waited until she had stormed away from the crowd to find a safe place to work. Turning the corner of the metal rows of seats his brow furrowed as he slipped behind the edge under the bleachers. Leaning down in the darkness he pulled the note book free and dropped it on the ground infront of him before pulling free both pen and pendant.  
Both objects glowed fiercely as he held them in each hand. Slowly the black clip lifted from his hand the yellow light pulling apart its glamour as a feather floated down on to the book. His hands worked on their own, as if a gentle set of hands guided him. Tapping the pen against the feather, it seemed to absorb into it. The urge to write consumed him as he picked up the open book and began to write.

_The girl felt tired, as if her mind was trying to escape her, thudding heavily against her skull, it made it hard to focus. Pressing gentle fingers against her temples she tried to rub away the pain of her skull splitting. She could have been practicing- the pain in her head became excruciating as she gasped. The images hitting her in a rapid succession, her brain hammered against her skull as her watery blue eyes went wide. She felt like she was living it, her body enveloped in light her mind going white as she stepped into what could only feel like some alternate world. The small girl stared as a simple ballet studio willed itself around her, melting to her touch as if she had always been here._

_Right she was in school for Ballet. Gold Crown Academy... her. Her reflection appeared in the wide open windows, as if she was staring at another version of herself. She wore pink pointe shoes laced up around small petite ankles that seemed to hold her up with such grace and stability. A tight white bodice showed off her minor amounts of clevage, a white tutu fluttering out with blue trails and a yellow bow. Her copper hair was like feathers, turning white and framing her face as she sat poised. “I am princess Tutu.” Twisting gracefully she raised her hands above her head, twirling together before holding it out to her, her foot lifting up behind her, arched perfectly. “Dance with me.” Her reflection whispered to her, words floating around her like soft sweet music._

_She took her reflections hand on instinct, the glow ethereal glow from her spread as she spun her, the world around her shifting as she felt her body move on its own. She could see her; the ant eater, the cook, the flickering flame, so many others were in her arms, just like she was now. Dancing together as she whispered in their ears, easing their pain, her words were like a magical melody that no one could resist._   
_“Remember me, remember the prince and princess, remember the knight...” With each mention of the character she could see them appear with a red muted shadow. Mytho dressed in such lovely prince like clothing, Rue in a flowing gown of gold and white on his arm. The knight... the knight a muffled hazy fog filled her mind as the black shadow turned frightening. They twirled together gracefully as Princess tutu comforted her, leading her into peace. Dropping her hand she spun her to the arms of the shadow, it’s suffocating claws held her with such controlled gentleness. The shadow of the knight dipped her, her back bending as she let her hands roll out, her foot pointing directly up. Looking up to see through the haze she tried to hold on to this familiar feeling. Nausea rolled through her as fear completely consumed her, the shadow becoming suffocating as she struggled pull free of the claws that held her.  
The small girl screamed, all her fear and sorrow pooled together._

Fakir gasped as he stopped writing. Practically flying up he looked around, above him he saw it. Gold eyes watching him intently. Mytho stared curiously. He heard it then, the blood chilling scream, without even a second thought he was dashing back to the front. Only able to focus on Ahiru as he pushed roughly against the crowd as he found their seats. Her eyes were wide as slowly she blinked, falling forward. Running up the bleachers he leapt up the seats, three at a time as he slid his arms around her and caught her before she could hit the seats and tumble down. Arms wrapped around he looked at a surprised Mytho. Something had hit him hard too, a memory perhaps?  
“Fakir?” He breathed his words soft, reminiscent of his emotionless self.  
“Mytho? What did you see?” He asked him. Mytho blinked.  
“I- I’m not sure? I felt like… like a bird, a crow. Darkness eating at my heart..” He snapped out of it quickly. Looking down at him holding Ahiru. Panic flooded his eyes as he leaned down to grab her from him.  
“We must get her to her room. She looks sick.” He touched her face. He wanted to stop him, how many days had he watched her fawn over the prince as he steadily grew to love her. To lose her again, he would not be able to handle it.  
“I’m stronger than you, I’ll carry her.” He didn’t want to let go of her. He refused to hand her over to Mytho. Carefully he stood up holding Ahiru close to his chest as they walked, he didn’t even notice Rue’s wide eyes and face full of hurt and surprise.

~.~.

The next day Ahiru looked too shaky for comfort, sitting in her seat next to him she smiled weakly at him. “I can’t believe I fainted. Mytho said it was probably all my extra practicing.” She laughed a fake laugh. “Luckily Mytho was there to carry me back. It has never felt so comforting before, it reminded me of home ya’know?” Fakir didn’t dare correct her, not when he was too busy being surprised by her words.  
They parted ways after class, not before Fakir asked her to exchange their numbers, finally adjusting to using the phone. Focusing on trying to return her feathers.  
The days passed and more often than not he accompanied her to the ballet studio, he hadn’t danced in years, but he offered to help her.  
Stretching on the barre he helped her place her leg up and push out, gaining more flexibility.  
“Your dancing is very beautiful for having quit.” She told him as they sat across from each other, both of them had their legs far apart nearly into a split for stretching.  
“I found I loved writing more.” He explained.  
“You know for being so grumpy and mean, your a pretty nice person inside.” She told him. Fakir froze as such a sweet giggle escaped, was she teasing him? Ahiru had always been able to see through him.  
“Auditions are coming up, I would like to be able to audition, Rue will probably stay in the prima position, she’s so graceful with dancing. I think I’ll just be happy to get in.” She spoke wistfully as she leaned forward her elbows on the ground.  
“You could easily get prima ballerina.” He dared to speak up, green eyes narrowing as she paused to look at him surprised. “You know I had this dream where I was a princess. Princess Tutu, silly right? But it made me want it, more than I ever have.” She brought her feet together and stood up.  
Fakir paused, in the week since he returned the feather neither of them mentioned what happened. Until today, he knew he couldn’t say anything, but perhaps... perhaps that didn’t mean she couldn’t figure it out on her own.  
“What is the play?” He asked suddenly. His eyes bright with excitement.  
“No one knows yet, why?” She looked curiously at him, he smirked.  
“No reason, who decides?” He asked her eagerly, too eagerly, he needed to calm down.  
“Neko-sensei…” She told him wearily, Fakir jumped up. An idea in his mind, if she was going to remember everything why did it even matter. He wouldn’t be telling her anything, no she would be dancing it.


	5. Chapter 5

Fakir spent the week day and night writing. Refusing to work on anything but his project. When he finished it he clutched the stack of papers to his chest, sitting at Mr. Cat’s desk.

“So you would like to use your own ballet for this years production.” His lisp was strong. Twirling his mustache he gave him a bemused look. “You have two minutes to impress me.” He leaned back crossing his arms. God I’m every realm He was hard to deal with. 

“I call it Princess Tutu. It’s about a Duck who is turned into a princess to return the memories of her Prince. If she confesses her love she will turn into a speck of light so she watches as he falls in love with Princess Kraehe a poor girl who was tortured and fooled by an evil crow.” He explained quickly. “There is also a knight and all four of them work together to defeat the Raven so the Prince and Princess can live happily ever after.” He handed him the papers. “I used to practice Ballet as a kid, I was an advanced student at a prestigious academy so I know quite a bit and would also like to be involved. To be entirely honest I wrote the play with four leads in mind.” He finished. Mr. Cat flipped through the pages lazily.

“That is some Audacity Mister Fakir. To not only have a cast in mind for your little production, but to want to be involved yourself.” He let the papers fall back. Fakirs hands tightened into fists. He had to do this.

“I can show you my dance!” He interjected a little desperately.

“I have seen you helping Miss Arima.” He shook his head. “The question is should I take the chance on you. Normally our Prima Ballerinas are selected for lead roles. Especially when it is a hard earned position.” He reminded him. Fakir nodded before looking up at him with earnest eyes.

“This play requires two.” He said simply, Mr. Cat looked taken back. “There are at least 3 Pas De Duex dances, I have my leads in mind but what if we hold an audition to let everyone take a chance.” He offered, a compromise, he needed it.

“Alright Mister Fakir. I’ll take the chance on you. You will be the student director for this. I’ll let you play your role, however if anything seems amiss I will take over immediately.” He warned him. Fakir’s eyes brightened up, had he really truly done it? “Leave the script with me, and your telephone number. I will be in touch.” He dismisses him as Fakir left the room before he could change his mind. Now with Ahiru for their tutoring had to wait just a little longer as he had one more final thing to do. Pulling free the quill pen he sat down on the wall for a minute, beginning to write about Ahiru.

_Sitting across from her prince she watched Mytho lovingly, Fakir had been absent from their tutoring sessions and she had missed him helping her dance. In the past weeks he had become a staple, standing by her side wherever she looked._  
“Thank you for carrying me home after I passed out Mytho.” She grinned happily at him, the feeling had been so familiar, so safe. It felt like home, so warm. He looked puzzled as she hummed happily.  
“But I didn’t carry you home?” He looked confused as he looked up from his notes. She let out a strangled quack, covering her mouth almost instantly. Both of them looked confused by her noise, yet neither of them mentioned it, choosing to carry on the conversation.  
“Then who?” The girl continued to panic at the thought.   
“Fakir did.” He spoke simply, the girl looked hopelessly confused. How had she felt so comfortable with him?

Fakir leaned back, he felt guilty for manipulating Ahiru like that, perhaps it was jealousy that fueled him. He simply couldn’t let the situation go on without the truth being revealed. Picking up his phone he sent Ahiru a text, assuring that they would have their tutoring session starting again. Standing up he shoved the notebook back in his bag, he wanted to go to the library where he felt most comfortable, surrounded by books. Walking slow he constantly checked his phone for a response, disheartened when he saw no reply from her. Stepping inside he decided to see what information this story had on Drosselmeyer.   
Heading towards the counter he tapped on the desk as the Library assistant looked up at him.  Asking the librarian about Drosselmeyer, her puzzled expression told him nothing as they began searching it up on the computer. “Here, Drosselmeyer is a character in the nutcracker. I’m pretty sure we have a book on that.” She pointed him in the direction he searched the shelves. At least one thing was familiar even in such a unique world. Book filing systems. Pulling the book on the nutcracker free he set it on the table stopping to grab his bag.   
Pausing he saw the light of the feather in his bag. Digging into it he looked down at the book as it matched the glow. The glamour peeling away in light as it formed into another feather. He touched it to the pen as they glowed together. Pulling the notebook free He was unable to stop his hand, no control over his words once again.

_Pirouette by pirouette by pirouette the girl spun, thin legs outstretched as she felt the pain in her chest. The world seemed to spin around her, blurring as shapes morphed together. Slowly drawing to a stop she paused when the world around her shifted its appearance completely. Looking down to see her standing in water. Her footing was lost as she toppled over, gasping when when didn’t fall in.  
Surrounded by crows the crosses swords, holding her back, forced to watch the shadow knight battle. Her heart shattering as he slashed and cut down each bird that came his way. Talon like claws suffocated each crow into purple figments as he was tossed back, skidding across the water disappearing under She couldn’t make out what he looked like, as if a fog covered her eyes while she watched. Calling out his name she heard no sound pass her lips. Yet it hurt so much to watch. Kraehe giggled evilly as the shadow launched out of the water, surrounding it the knight twisted and cut open more Ravens. They flew up and dropped down like arrows pummeling him by the sharp talons of the crows, sending him slamming into the water. She screamed, her voice still muted as she called his name. Now there only stood the two of them. _

_Collapsing her felt the tears welling up like the blood spreading out of the water. She couldn’t let him die in vain. She would save Mytho. So She danced. Danced and danced as princess tutu. Trying to convey her feelings through dance. Through the pas de deux by herself, a magnificent feat, watching her leap as if she was behind help up. For him she could do it.  
Banishing Kraehe, the prince saw her feelings, as they escaped they found the knight alive, laying by the flames. She could feel the happiness overflowing from her as she danced with the prince. Unable to contain the love the spilled out of each spin and leap they held together._

_she fell down, clutching her chest as she screamed. The memory suffocating her. Bringing her into unconsciousness._

Fakir felt his heart ache as he finished. He remembered that, the day Miss Adel died to save him. The day he realized just how special Ahiru was. They danced for Adel, his eyes downcast, surprised at how jealous he could feel. Relaxing back, he shut the notebook stuffing it in his bag as he walked back to his room. Unlocking the door he walked inside setting the bag on his desk, slowly unbuttoning the green shirt he looked up to see Mytho sitting by the window, looking out longingly.   
“I felt like I was torn to pieces, without a heart, but princess Tutu was saving me.” He looked over at him. “You know something about these dreams, Fakir.” It wasn’t a question. Looking over at his bag he sat on his bed and laid back. Mytho wouldn’t believe him anyways. Not yet. He had to wonder what Rue was reliving.   
“I have to gather all of Ahiru’s memories, but I cannot ever tell her. When I find one of hers your memories will keep returning and so will Rues.” He told him, his voice dull.  Would he even believe him?

Mytho said nothing, In return. “I don’t think you’re lying, but it sounds unbelievable.”

Fakir exhaled a loud sigh. “I have a plan. I need you to audition for the ballet coming up.” He sat up and looked over at him.   
“I can’t dance though.” He protested.  
“You can. You just don’t remember.” He rolled his eyes.   
“Why you? Why not me?” He sounded slightly offended.   
“Don’t be ridiculous, I am the one-“ he cut off is words, tapping his foot in annoyance he stood up and crossed his arms. “At some point it will all be revealed.” He responded briskly. Mytho looked puzzled but laid back on the bed.   
“That doesn’t make sense anyways.” He shrugged it off. Fakir had no response for it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between working two jobs I haven’t had time to update as much, here’s a new chapter tho!!!

Fakir wasn’t sure how to face Ahiru after she found out he was the one who carried her. It showed her embarrassment in their practice. He tried dancing with Ahiru, helping her with her pointe work, barely disguising his ulterior motive. He wanted to see how much of Princess Tutu existed in her. Yet she was so nervous and bumbling it made it impossible.   
“If you’re not going to take this seriously I’m going to leave.” He snapped at her as she fell back on the balls of her feet when he touched her waist. All he was trying to do was hold her steady while she tried to see how long she could pirouette, instead every single time she shied away.  
“I’m just uncomfortable because-“ she started cutting her words off. Green eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest.   
“This is over.” He snapped at her. “Don’t start crying when you can’t even make it into a ballet.” He sauntered away reaching for his bag.  
“Why did you carry me instead of Mytho?” She yelled at him. Fakir froze turning to look over his shoulder. She looked so anxious and mad. Her small face scrunched up adorably. There was no such thing as frightening with Ahiru.   
“Because I was the one that saw you fall so I grabbed you, and Mytho was out of his mind a little.” He shrugged it off, trying to keep his face even. Turning back to lean over and grab his bag.  
“Mytho is my boyfriend and I love him.” Fakir froze and closed his eyes, god damn Drosselmeyer. _Deep breaths._  
“That’s funny, I don’t get why you’re screaming that at me.” Straightening up he tossed his bag over his shoulder. _Deep breath_ \- walking towards her she slinked away, shrinking down at his frightening expression. Backing her against the wall he slammed his hand in anger against the wall next to her. “It’s almost like you’re telling that to yourself not me.” He hissed, he had lost his cool. Blue eyes widened as she stared at him before mustering her courage up, her expression still intimidated but her eyes were like fire. That was his Ahiru. Glaring him down despite being afraid.   
“Neko-Sensei told us he picked the ballet-” The door pushed open as Rue stepped in and paused. Surprise in her eyes to see them in their position. Dropping his hand he straightened up, annoyance still radiating off him.   
“Rue.” Her voice came out in a terrified whine as Fakir pushed past her. Fakir smiled as he left, he knew it would work. This world was his, he had the ability to manipulate it.

Walking with Mytho to class they paused when they first saw the poster. Princess Tutu in a graceful pose back to back with Princess Kraehe. In the left corner was The prince forlorn and sad looking and the Knight in the top right corner, the sword in his hands striking out.   
Fakir couldn’t help but smirk. He had written the ballet and presented it to Mr. Cat, of course he had eaten it up.   
“This is your doing?” Mytho asked him as Fakir shrugged, they hadn’t talked too much about anything since Mytho had approached him about it.   
“I just wrote a ballet. Come on, we’re going to be late.” He pulled him onward as they headed for the auditorium. Shoving the white shirt and dancing tights in his hands they changed as he put on his own clothes. A green button up shirt he tied loosely rolling up the sleeves he left it open so he had more movement in his arms.   
Seeing Mr. Cat he smiled.   
The man in this world wasn’t a cat like before, thank god. Instead he was just a short man, muscular but no taller than 5’5. Narrowed almond eyes Fakir greeted him pleasantly.   
“I will admit, I was surprised Mister Fakir And Mister Mytho in your interest in ballet. To come from such a prestigious school and not join our department…” Fakir shrugged, he may have altered their story enough. “Since it is your story I will Be enlisting you as our student director too.” He added practically dragging the two of them.   
Clapping loudly he gathered everyone waiting to auditions attention. “Our very own writing major went out of his way to write a ballet as his semester project and asked for it to be performed, because of this there are two roles that will be given to two exceptional dancers Mister Fakir and Mister Mytho. And instead of one Prima position we will have two.” A lot of gasps and muttering sounded out as Fakir looked down to see Ahiru staring up at him eyes wide. Mr. Cat looked over at him, coughing to let him take over. He had asked for this. “Since you are all in the ballet division everyone will be given a role, however we will be deciding the two prima rolls by the ability to dance a Pas De Deux since it is a a focal point to the story. Both primas must be able to convey emotion through he dance. Not just technical abilities will be counted.” He looked over at Mytho who didn’t look comfortable in the situation.   
Fakir watched as they all began pairing up, his arms crossed as they went through the steps, dancing together. He pretended to be considering everyone but he knew there was no point. Rue would get Kraehe and Ahiru would be Tutu. His expression darkened when he spotted the familiar glow of a feather. On Ahiru’s head a ribbon wrapped her bun up, the pink lace glowing underneath her orange hair. She was struggling in her Pas De Duex, an idea popping into his mind.  
“Ahiru.” He called out to her, motioning her over. The entire room quieted as he dismissed them. Stepping towards him he slowly offered out his hand.   
She took it, giving him a weary look as he pulled her close to him and began dancing. Ahiru had always been his perfect partner for him, no amount of memory loss could sever the connection. Even as they danced and he lifted her or spun her, the emotion and raw connection was there. Looking down at her he knew she felt it. Her eyes were wide as he lead her about letting her leap and twirl around him. Ending the dance he held her by her waist as she slid gracefully into a split. Holding one hand out he carefully plucked the ribbon out and pulled as it unleashed her long hair, letting it tumble around them dramatically. Making it appear as part of the dance she tilted her head back to look up at him, a small hand gently touching his face.  
For a moment he lost himself, forgetting his mission his duty, the overwhelming urge to kiss her to hold her made his hands shake. Pulling her up he practically threw her away from him.   
“That is what a Pas De Duex should look like.” Mr. Cat intercepted. Fakir left her own the ground, looking up at Mytho who looked absolutely appalled. To be fair, he did just dance so tenderly with his girlfriend half of the class was nearly in tears.   
This was going to be awkward.   
Mr. Cat took auditions back over as Fakir hovered in the back, searching for his bag as he tossed the ribbon in with the pen glowing.   
“Fakir? Do you still have my ribbon?” Ahiru’s voice rang out behind him. Not bothering to look at her he snapped his bag up.  
“Why would I still have it?” He asked impatiently. He had seen the hurt in her eyes the way he practically threw her after the dance. Anyone could have interpreted that as coldness. Walking past her he headed for the exit, surprised when Rue blocked his way.   
“So you’ve got feelings for your best friends girl and you dumped me for her.” She crosses her arms over her chest.  
“No. It was a dance Rue.” He exhaled pushing past her.   
“You’ve been acting strange since the game-“ he ignored her as he practically ran for the dressing rooms. Pushing away from everyone he slammed into he room and locked the door tossing his bag on the make up bench he dumped out his bag and found the pen, his notebook and the ribbon.  
Combining the two he sat down and began writing, piecing together another memory for her.

_Rue stood at the door, Fakir had left her in th dust and it concerned Ahiru. However multiple things about Fakir were starting to concern her, since when has she felt such a strong concern for him? Blinking away the thoughts she stared at Rue who was wearing a black dress made of feathers, her expression diabolical as she turned around. Shaking her head she realized she was dreaming again, why? Why? Rue was her friend, there was no way she could be Kraehe. Her heart stopped as crows surrounded her, forming from a purple mist as she covered her face in surprise. This wasn’t the auditorium anymore. What? Black and warped vines appeared from the pendant to wrap around her like bindings. She rambled on about the princess love for her, only stopping to be interrupted by the crashing of a horse through the window._  
The knight strolled up. His face blacked out by an opaque mist as she sent crows after him. Screaming his name, the words were muted on her lips. She had to save him. Hearing his tortured yells as she taunted him about dying. The cage broke apart as Rue fell to the ground sobbing.   
They had won. “I do not wish to fight you.” She told the shadow as it loomed over her. Snarling angrily. It was frightening though. Yet Ahiru felt no fear for it.  
But why?  
Another memory hit her hard as she ran. The pendant slipping off.   
“No not, yet.” Her own voice told her, pulling her back.

Fakir breathed as he felt exhausted, closing his eyes and leaning back on the floor. The pen in his hand he closed his eyes. He needed to relax to sleep.

~.~.~

Waking up in the infirmary all four beds were full.   
Mytho, Rue, And Ahiru slept soundly. They all must have collapsed from the memory.  
Rue was the first to stir with him, sitting up she looked around panicked. “Don’t run.” Fakir stopped her. “You saw it too. The battle.” He spoke up, taking a chance.   
“What was that? I tried to kill you.” She pushed herself up. “You were a knight. Mytho a prince. ahiru and princess. Why was I interrupting their love. Why was I so hurt by it?” She held her head. So many questions pouring from her.   
“Because you love Mytho.” He said simply. She shot him a dirty look.   
“Nonsense.” Sliding up on his feet. “What’s going on, why am I having all these dreams where I am a bad guy?” She snapped. Fakir couldn’t tell her.  
“You’ll find out soon enough.”   
“Soon is not soon enough. Now is.” Looking over at Ahiru he watched her stir. He was done talking.   
“It’s getting chilly outside. Tell Mytho I will be heading back first.” He found his bag next to the bed. Checking for all of his things he nodded once. The pen was accounted for.   
He needed to find Mr. Cat and tell him his casting decisions. 


	7. Chapter 7

After the initial shock of the casting choices and Mr. Cats weary expressions things began to set into motion. Aside from his role as the knight and Mytho’s role as the prince everyone else seemed to accept the duties with ease.   
It had become awkward between Rue, Mytho and himself. Their attention drawn to the story and its parallels to their dreams. The only person who it seemed to fly over her head was Ahiru.   
“I don’t understand, how simple it is so pick up such moves.” Mytho seemed surprised by how easily he could dance. They sat in their dorm room. Fakir busy working on notes and edits for the ballet. He had been so busy in the on coming weeks that he hadn’t had time to search for the feathers.   
“That’s the beauty of muscle memory.” He responded dully, chewing on the end of the plastic pen he tipped his chair back on two legs and exhaled. 

~.~.~

“We should go ice skating this weekend.” Ahiru suggested as they warmed up for their practice. The others slowly began filing in and warming up, “Neko-sensei probably wouldn’t mind.” She added. Rue snorted.  
“In what world? Ahiru don’t be foolish.” She leaned on to Fakir to stretch making him cringe. Her expression hardened, his uncomfortable stance hadn’t gone unnoticed.   
“It might be nice for us to get out off campus.” She added in protest.   
“I think it’s a lovely idea.” Mytho added, holding Ahiru’s hand gently. Anger and possessiveness welled up in him at the sight. “We can also go Christmas shopping.” He added.  
“Christmas?” Fakir blinked, had it already been two months since they got into this new story? He was slacking.   
“Of course!” She added happily, clapping her hands together. Fakir felt his cheeks pinken. Brushing it off quickly he shrugged.   
“It might help with dance anyways.” He tried to add lamely. Ahiru pumped her fist in excitement.

As the weekend rolled around Fakir prepared for their day out by bundling in a thick black wool pea coat and navy green scarf that seemed to match the same glint his hair had. Pulling on his boots he helped Mytho with his own tan jacket, his days as a knight still taking over the instinct.   
They looked like opposites to the extreme. Fakir in black and green and Mytho in tan and soft blue. He was covered in light of course, he was a prince after all. Meeting up with Ahiru and Rue he paused when he saw her in a large yellow jacket that sinched at the waist with a chord. The hood was fluffed out of with fur and buttoned up all the way to her neck. Her strawberry blonde hair was braided back and hanging down her back complete with soft pink earmuffs that matched the rosiness in her cheeks and nose.   
Rue on the other hand wore a maroon heavy jacket that zipped up across the breast and hung open folded over. A soft black scarf was tucked in and her wild black hair was down flying in every possible direction. Despite the dark colors she still looked like the princess of their story. Well not this one. In this one ahiru was the true princess in soft colors and bright smiles.   
They walked together, both girls falling into step next to each other while they walked in front of Mytho and himself. “I have a bad feeling about today.” Mytho added under his breath as Fakir froze and stopped walking.   
“Why?” He asked as the group paused to turn back and look at him before he got too far behind. Shoving his hands in his pockets he continued.   
“I can’t tell.” He added softly. Walking through the town the girls led the way to the lake that had frozen over during the winter. Quietly they waited in line to rent skates before taking their chance out on the ice.   
Rue and Mytho skated circles around everyone easily. Fakir had no problem keeping up but Ahiru on the other hand was helpless. She clopped like a horse, gracelessly struggling to skate as she tripped over her own feet on constant basis.   
Skidding to a halt next to her, he offered out an arm to steady her before she took another tumble.   
“There is nothing graceful about you.” A lie, he knew it. He had seen her a princess tutu, but he would never admit that.   
“Shut up, Fakir.” She pouted, ignoring his arm until she managed to roll her ankle grabbing on before she could fall.   
“I still can’t understand why you put me in the lead.” She mentioned as they skated. Ahiru hadn’t said much to him when she found out he had used princess tutu. At first she had been enraged he used such a personal story she trusted him with, but he just brushed her anger off.   
“I think you have the heart to play the role better than everyone else.” He shrugged.  
“Why did you put Mytho in as the prince and yourself as the knight?” She contained pressing him with questions.   
_‘Because those were are actual roles_ ’ “because Mytho is princelike and I’ve always been his knight.” He added.   
“You know, it’s strange these dreams and this play… they’re similar…” she trailed off, Fakir froze sure she was thinking out loud.   
“Dreams?” He felt his heart in his throat as she looked over at him surprised. Her hand went to her mouth stifling a quack between her fingers.   
“I don’t mean to bring it up! It’s just- the play makes me have weird dreams.” She explained. Fakir didn’t say anything. “Like I’ve lived through it. Or I’m watching Tutu live through it.” She mumbled, refusing to move. “Am I crazy?” She asked him, wide blue eyes giving him an earnest look. Fakirs cheeks heated up, all he could think in that instance was how much he loved her and how he couldn’t tell her anything.   
Shaking his head he looked up to see Mytho and Rue skating in the center, he could tell that they were rehearsing their Pas des Duex on the skates. Merely out of curiosity if it was possible. Following his gaze Ahiru’s expression dropped.   
“They make such a good couple, no one would question if they were together.” She watched them, moving to hop off the ice and struggle to the benches.   
“Why do you say that, does that get brought up a lot?” He asked keeping up with her as he sat next to her.   
“No of course not, but… I can’t help but feel out of place sometimes, like why would he be with someone like me.” She frowned. Fakirs brows furrowed.   
“You shouldn’t be in something that makes you feel inferior.” Fakir leaned down, setting his bag on the bench. “Part of being in a relationship is seeing someone as an equal, not idolizing them. In those instances how sure are you that what you feel is love and not awe?” He asked her, she looked absolutely confused by his words.  
“What about you then? How did you feel about Rue when you loved her?” She asked him, Fakir leaned back, that was such a tricky question considering their history was fabricated.   
“Neither of us were truly happy together, there is someone special to me, a girl from before this. At first I hated her. She was everything I despise, clutzy, air headed, rash and I thought it was all annoying but we began working together to help a friend. I don’t know when it happened. At first I saw she had heart in every effort she made, I began seeing how determined and brilliant she was, all those things I thought I hated simply melted into reasons I loved her. But she was taken from me due to circumstances and we never got the chance to be together.” He explained practically confessing his love for her.  
“That’s so sad.” He heard her voice wobble making him look up at her. She was crying, Fakir felt sick to his stomach, he made her cry. “Any girl that could earn Fakir’s love should consider themselves lucky.” She added wiping her tears away. Leaning back he looked at the directions surrounding the lake, pausing when he saw the familiar glint of a feather glow from one of the nutcracker dolls hanging on the poles. Sitting up straight, he jumped up reaching for his bag startling Ahiru.   
“What’s wrong?” She asked, ignoring her he leapt to the edge of the pole. Cupping his hands around his mouth he yelled.   
“Mytho!” The princes attention snapped to him in surprise. Rushing over He skidding to a stop infront of him.   
“Fakir?” He looked puzzled and concerned.   
“The doll.” He grabbed his arms and spun him. Pointing him at the nutcracker. “I need it, help me get it.” He demanded. Leaning over her saw Rue skating over concern in her red eyes. “Tell her to distract Ahiru. Go Christmas shopping.” He demanded.   
“Fakir? What’s wrong?” He tried again, Fakir just squeezed his shoulders as he looked over at Rue. “Rue will you distract Ahiru with Christmas shopping while we handle something?” He asked her, her eyes narrowed.   
“What’s going on?” She looked annoyed, he could see the concern in her gaze however. Neither of them responded as she sighed and rolled her eyes waving to Ahiru as they stood up.   
“I’ll explain later, but we need that.” He finished as they skated across the pond. Stopping by the pole Fakir hurriedly began pulling on the rope to lower it before yanking it down.   
“Hey kids don’t touch that!” Turning around he saw one of the employees frowning and walking towards them.   
“Let’s go.” Fakir stuffed the doll in his bag and began taking off the skates. Mytho as well as they dashed across the park, taking off into the trees.  
They ran together despite the whistles and yelling to stop until they were out and clear, hiding in the woods of the park.   
“Fakir tell me!” Mytho demanded and Fakir stopped running and reached for the bag. Opening it he pulled free the feather pen and his notebook, the Doll had dissipated into its feather making Mytho gasp and peer  
Into the bag. “Did you drop it?” He asked frowning. Fakir shook his head and dropped to his knees. Touching the feather to the pen as it absorbed.   
“No, just watch.” He began writing the scene over taking him.

_The lake reminded the girl of the time she could not fathom. As if fog began to spread from the ground thickly, she called out Rue‘s name as she disappeared from sight, all that could be seen was the lake, except it wasn’t frozen over. Instead she watched as Princess Tutu stepped out next to her, poised gracefully as always she motioned Ahiru towards the pond. Taking a step in she felt the world around her shift, growing bigger. Looking around she froze when she saw a sillouhete dancing._  
The duck watched the prince. All she could think about was how sad he looked. How she wanted to help him. Images flashed through her mind. How every quack broke her form, how she made her deal with a Drosselmeyer. Each time she ran into Mytho and Rue as a Duck. And the figure. A stranger blacked out creature. She stared at him. The feeling of urgency overwhelmed her as she let out strangled cries. She tried so hard to get the pendant from him.   
Terrified she watched the dark mist in silence as the scene moved, the sun and moon rising in rapid succession. She was watching the knight cry. Even if she couldn’t tell based solely on the black mist she knew it was him. It was always him surrounded in darkness. She wanted to peel it away, but the harder she tried the thicker it seemed. The mist picked her up and cradled her close to its chest. She was surprised by how solid the mist was, how warm it felt. Leaning into the heart and chest of the knight she felt for the first time like she was home.

_Home? What was like home? Snapped back into her body the fog seemed to grow deeper and darker until she felt herself being surrounded and pulled under by it._

Fakir stopped writing, unaware he was crying as he closed the book and wiped his eyes. Mytho was on his knees, eyes wide as he watched. “What are you watching?” He asked him standing up. “Tell me on the way, we must find Ahiru.” He demanded pulling Mytho up. He flinched at his touch.   
“Why would you hurt me?” He asked, Fakir froze. “You were cruel and violent…” had he seen how Fakir was before Ahiru had changed him. Before he learned he could be better.   
“God these memories come without context.” He grumbled under his breath making Mytho pause.   
“Fakir?” He breathed hurt and confusion etched deeply into his heart and expression.   
“That was the past, I made a lot of mistakes thinking I was protecting you.” He explained, his eyes narrowed painfully. “They were horrible regrets of mine. But for now we have to go get the girls.” He walked with Mytho.   
“What was that?” He asked him. “It felt so real…”  
“Because it was, it’s a Memory. These feathers you saw briefly, they belong to Ahiru…” he held out the pen, digging through his bag. “It’s part of a bigger deal with Drosselmeyer…”  
“So the play, it’s real?” It wasn’t a question they both knew it. He nodded as they neared the lake. A small group had gathered as Rue stood in the center staring down at Ahiru. Absolute disgust was written on her face.  
Frowning he ran towards them parting the crowd. Rue turned to look at him, pain in her eyes as she glanced at Mytho, her heart shattering.   
“You love her that much?” She asked, the words out before she could stop them, confusion written across her features as Fakir moved to pick up Ahiru.   
“Let’s go back…” he looked at the two of them his expression haunted as they all nodded.


End file.
